Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
For the home and family to be a Christian home and family:
- Christ must be in the home
- Christ must be the head of the home
- Christ must be first in the home
- Christ must be first in the life of the father/husband
- Christ must be first in the life of the mother/wife
In today’s society there are a host of combinations that make up a home and family – divorce, multiple sets of parents, multiple sets of grandparents, multiple combinations of her kids/his kids/our kids/her aunt/his aunt/her uncle/his uncle. If both the biological parents of a child have remarried, kids may have two fathers, two mothers and four sets of grandparents. If one or more of the grandparents have divorced and remarried, then there will be more sets of grandparents. This can lead to confusion in the home.
This is why it is so important that Christian parents, grandparents realize the great responsibility they have to be an example and to do what they can to teach their children of the truth of God.
The Bible is still our guide. There is no better. If you find yourself in a home or family that is not what God really intended, you must still follow the Bible as best as you can under the circumstances. You must still obey the Word of God. You must still hold true to what you know to be right.
The command for wives to be submissive to their husbands does not mean they must take abuse either physically or spiritually from their husbands. Rather it says wives should work in unison with their husband, and respect his position as leader of the family.
Colossians 3:18 – Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.
Titus 2:4 – that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.
1 Peter 3:1 – Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives.
Paul gives husbands instructions on how they should treat their wives. They must be selfless in their love for their wife. They must be giving and sacrificial in their love. Their love must be of the will as well as of the heart, a commitment as well of affection. It must be a love that works for the highest good of the wife.
Ephesians 5:25 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.
1 Peter 3:7 – Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Interesting that Peter suggests if the husband does not honor his wife and show understanding his prayers will be hindered.
Proverbs 5:18 – Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
Children are to obey, heed, comply, and follow directions and instructions in all things. Children are not to behave as parents. Children are children and parents are to be the parents. Parents are to be the authority figure in the home. Children are to be obedient without questioning the biblical responsibility of the parent. This does not mean that a child should not be able to question the reasoning of the parent when an explanation is in order. Children must be prepared to face a world that is self-centered, demanding, corrupt, evil, sinful, power, competitive, dangerous and authoritative and it is the parent’s responsibility to prepare them.
Mark 7:10 – For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.
Ephesians 6:1 – Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Proverbs 1:8 – My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.
Proverbs 6:20 – The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother.
Proverbs 20:11 – Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right.
If you do not obey God and His Word in every detail and aspect as God has enlightened you, you cannot expect your children to obey you. You, the parent, will give an account to God if you do not live up to what God’s Word demands. You do not have a choice. You must obey and train your children to obey.
It is amazing to me that parents allow children to decide whether they come to church or not. You make them go to school, get immunizations, dental and medical check-ups and that is as it should be, but you let them decide if they want to go to church. Grandparents, if mom or dad is not a Christian, it is your responsibility to do everything you can to have your grandchildren in church and train them in the things of God.